Doh!! Missed Opportunities - Remember, it's always about the people!

A new business just opened up in my neighborhood.  I am a HUGE advocate of helping new businesses get started and especially budding young entrepreneurs who are getting started with a franchise.  I was so excited about this business!  This new franchisee had a great Facebook page and was sending out links (geo-targeted of course) to those in our 'hood about the opening.  The graphic representation of the brand and products were awesome, and there was some good interaction on the page.  I thought... wow - this person really gets it - they are connecting with the community on line before they are even open. 

This is what I teach, preach and believe, so of course, I stopped by opening day.  I bought probably one of the larger purchases of the day, and... major fail! ... the woman (nor the owner who was standing right beside her) didn't ask who I was, how I heard about them, or why I was buying so much.  I so wanted to connect with them, I so wanted to become a raving fan... blog about them (well... I am...but this is not what I expected).  I so envisioned becoming this regular... who they knew and who they could rely on to spread the word.  ....don't ask me why I got so excited - it's just who I am.  And then... nothing! So then, I gave them another chance.... went back - bought another big purchase. ...nothing, treated like a number.  I am so sad!  What a missed opportunity to build friends in the community, to build business, to increase sales!  I'd go there tomorrow to pick up what I need for an event, but I will go to a big box location where the man behind the counter at least knows who I am.   The morals of the story are: 1) it's not good enough to connect on line -that's only one part! You have to connect in person when the opportunity presents it self and 2) there are missed opportunities to create regulars and increase sales every day in every business - the only way you make that connection is to speak up and start the dialogue... and really care about getting to know people.  

Don't worry, I won't shun the new, young entrepreneur; I have knowledge and experience to share, and I'll be darned if I'm going to keep helpful insight to myself.  I will go in again, and I will introduce myself this time, and if they seem amenable to feedback or insight - I will share the perspective in a positive way and hope that it helps.  Hopefully, this franchisee will learn that a brand or location alone does not make a successful business - it is (and always will be) based on the connection you make with people ....I want to see this person and business succeed, and hopefully, I will be blogging about the great products and services sometime in the future!  Keep it real - and get connected - you never know how great that person could impact your life, business or community!

Green Eggs and Ham?

Do you remember Dr. Suess' Green Eggs and Ham?  In the story, the character insists he does not like Green Eggs and Ham and would not dare try them anywhere!  Eventually, he breaks down and tries them, only to discover he loves Green Eggs and Ham!  Is there something like "Green Eggs and Ham" in your life that you insist couldn't possibly be something you would do or some place you would go or just something you insist you don't have time to do?  Is it possible that you may change your mind if you just tried it and found it fulfilling?  Find a buddy that does something interesting - guitar lessons, volunteering at a shelter, writing a blog, training for a half marathon, cooking classes, meditation, working out in the morning, eating a raw food diet, teaching something, public speaking?  There are many ancient proverbs and modern sayings on the principle that you act your way into thinking, you don't think your way into acting.  Check out a previous blog post I wrote about putting your shoes on to get motivated  Put Your Shoes On.  Why is that so much more powerful than "changing your mindset" about motivation?  I don't know all the psychological drivers of this principle, but when you simply physically begin an action or try something different, your mind changes its perspective and will eventually follow suit. ...but I find the body, our habits and our behaviors don't always follow what we "intend" to do with our minds and hearts.  There is often a gap between our intentions and our acted out reality.  Fill that gap by just jumping in and doing it, whatever "it" is!  We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are.  - Max DePree    Find and try your Green Eggs and Ham today!!

Dialogue in the Dark

Tonight, as part of a day of strategic planning and team building, I went to Dialogue in the Dark with my team http://www.dialogue-in-the-dark.com/.  If you've never been, it's essentially an hour of living and interacting in absolute blackout darkness.  You have a cane, and you have a guide, who is completely blind.  You learn to live a day in the life of the visually impaired and blind.  You walk through a series of "places": the park, the grocery store, a dock, the street and find and identify every day objects.  I took off my shoes, because the thought of potentially stepping on something I couldn't see with 3+ inch heels was disturbing...and it felt so much better (and more safe) to feel the ground with my feet.  

I ended up beating up a car on the street with my cane - I didn't know what it was....glad it wasn't really someone's car and I think my teammate in front of me now has massive bruises on his ankles from my rampant and erratic cane-work, which is how you "see" in absolute darkness.  Some people get flat out scared, because you just have no idea what you're walking on, around, or about to walk into.  Some have a constant desire to have someone grab their hand and lead them, or just reassure them they're going in the right direction.  I had moments of both, but I mostly focused on listening to Garron, our guide - I was in awe of him.  He sang Sittin on the Dock of the Bay, while we had our mock boat ride; that, on top of his willingness to share his challenges to teach others, made me adore him. 

He stood with us as we ordered softdrinks while still blind and payed for them. He sat with us at the table in the cafe, still in blackout darkness, and we just talked.  We asked him about the toughest part of being blind, what he wished seeing-people knew or considered, and other general questions about interacting and living.  He talked about how difficult it is to be and stay gainfully employed.  He went 12 years without work after his last job/company shut down.  12 Years??!! Are you freaking kidding me?!  You think unemployment is bad in America?  Slice the population by the visually impaired, and you will be astonished - it is devastatingly high.  He has started a small business teaching others who are blind to type using a screen reader, so they can fill customer service and data-related jobs.  After he leaves his part-time gig leading tours at this exhibit, he goes and works on his business.  He said, "I can do almost anything you can do on a computer with today's reading technology".   

Since we work in restaurants, we asked if restaurants were accommodating, and he said most are, but there's more they can do.  At Hooters, we have braille menus - which he didn't know - but we have invited him and his family to come in and have lunch and dinner on us.   I want to help him, because you can tell he is a giving man, and he's not only making his own way, he's doing so by helping and teaching others.  Maybe we can get a list of what types of tech-work he and his students can do and send work his way.  ...or maybe we can share his story. 

At the very least, if you have the chance to attend a similar event, I hope his generosity, by way of inspiring me to write this post, helps spread the word of events like this that broaden understanding, empathy, and action to benefit the visually impaired.  I couldn't help but wonder - what laws could I help get passed that would support him and others like him? What associations and groups work with businesses to help them employ and serve the visually impaired?  Finally, when we asked about what was toughest, outside of unemployment, he told us his biggest challenge.  He said, I wish I knew what my children look like; I wish I could see the faces of my grandchildren.  I could hardly hold back the tears.

Feed Your Soul....

I was recently talking to a friend about investing in yourself to diversity your purpose portfolio (see earlier blog post on that) and the importance of feeding your soul.  My philosophy is that if you don't find ways to feed your soul a.k.a. - what taps into your "effortless talent",  your soul will start finding its fuel by weighing heavily on other parts of your life.   Effortless talent is exacly what it sounds like.  It's that thing that you do so well without trying, yet others comment how naturally it comes to you.  So many people are caught up in a routine (job, relationship, habit) where they rarely tap into their effortless talent, and that causes great emotional labor. 

 I once worked with a man who tried so hard to be what he wasn't (he wanted to be a public speaker, believing that was his path to success).  Even with his strongest efforts and commitment, long hours, and constant coaching he was average at best.  Had he just been in a role where he could tap into his effortless talent (which is coaching one-on-one), he would have eliminated a great deal of his personal stress and been a virtual rock star in his industry.  He defined himself by what he saw others achieve and used their rewards and accolades as motivation instead of doing what fed his soul and came naturally.   He eventually came around to realizing what fed his soul was one-on-one coaching, and in that, he found the most successful chapter in his life and the best version of his professional self. 

I have recently run into this as well, but on a more personal level.  I had the pleasure of meeting a new friend who is from Ghana earlier this year.  We discussed both of our experiences in Africa and immediately realized we, along with our other friend, had mutual goals and opportunities to do great work over in Ghana.  We set up a date, and I had full plans to go (quick trip - 4 days).   I need these impromptu trips (that often seem a bit nutty to others but perfectly normal to me) to do my part to impact the world.  I am especially fulfilled when making time improving the lives of women and families in deserving communities in Africa.  It's just what I do; it is part of what defines who I am, and it feeds my soul.   Apart from this desire to invest time and energy in Africa, I have so much going on, it makes trips like that almost impossible these days.  Unlike my trip to Rwanda and South Africa last year that just worked out as if the universe intended for make the journey, this hectic schedule proved too much for me to make my planned trip to Ghana a few weeks ago.  Although not going was the right choice (for many reasons), I couldn't help but be a little sad.  I do know that if I had gone, I would not have been totally present and would have been unable to give my full attention to the people and projects on site.   I know the people and groups that I would help in Ghana will still be there tomorrow, and next month, and next year.   Even though I acknowledged all of that, I still had that sad feeling.  I think when you miss any opportunity to tap into your "effortless talents", you feel it a little more.  My soul, so looking forward to that opportunity, is anxious to be fed. 

I am rescheduling the trip for mid September, and I am already feeling more fulfilled!   Whether it's reading a book, leading others, teaching, or competing, I hope you look for, find, and take advantage of unique opportunities that tap into your "effortless talents".  That is when you are at your best, when the most amazing version of your abilities are highlighted, and when you are the most magnetic and connected version of yourself.  In addition to grabbing those opportunities to tap into your effortless talents, be sure to help other people find and tap into theirs!