Sunday, December 8, 2013

Dear Mr. Jerk Face

Dear Mr. Jerk Face,

I was sitting at my favorite hotel, my favorite place in my favorite city, a place for people to chill and connect with others. Many were enjoying coffee and conversation, when not more than 3 feet from us, you felt the need to berate a server, telling her what a bad job she was doing in front of others.  It was horrible,  uncalled for, totally icked up the great vibe and was way out of line.

Not only did you yell at her for simply not getting cream and sugar (although you never asked for it) you did so loudly and unapologetically in front of others.  You then told woman with you, who I can only assume is your unfortunate and mortified wife, that you didn't care if it seemed rude or if it wasn't her fault, that it should be an automatic and it "made you feel better".   Uh… “ew, gross”.

I know I was not alone in thinking how awful you seemed or in recognizing how well the server handled your meanness with grace. Everyone has bad days, clearly including you, but that is no reason to abuse people who are there to bring the things you ask for at your bidding. I would have asked you to leave (nicely of course) if I had the right to do so, but alas, it is a public place and meany-pants are yet to be proactively banned. This place is so cool, there are even signs on the table saying ‘Love thy Neighbor’…where’s the love, man?

Other human beings, certainly undeserving strangers, are not your personal verbal whipping post. I'm sad for whatever environment or events in your life drove you to easily lash out on others and seem satisfied in doing so. I hope you get some help, work through your issues, and learn to be sweet one day.

But...Your negative energy was but a blip on the radar in that happy place. Although you may have tried to ruin her day, I assure you that the smiles, gratitude and tips she received from those who were witness to your outburst buried your little nuggets of meanness.  So as you see my rude friend, the pursuit to bring others down with your your dark  and cloudy 'tude is fruitless.
We all have our moments of temporary insanity, but most of us quickly realize it, apologize or at least express some kind of retraction.  I hope you and others like you read this. Smile, be sweet, spread some good in the world, and you will be surprised how much comes back your way to illuminate your life.  

I  love the service industry, those who serve others, and great environments of hospitality  - it’s such an honor to serve and witness great teams who do that well.   Those who serve have learned to love it, too ...even despite wussie-wussie-meanie-weenies like you :).

To all fellow peeps in the service industry, sometimes there’s the occasional bad, but it's worth it for all the good and happiness the act of serving brings; serve on my friends!
Signed, Ms. Smiley Face


  1. Maybe Mr Meanie Pants was constipated lol, I have had servers apologize for different things and I always tell them if you didn't do it there is no reason to say I'm sorry

  2. bad bad Mr. Jerk Face, shame on you!

  3. Great post, Kat. I'd be willing to bet one of those bystanders dropped a fat tip on the server to brighten her day a bit:-).

    Bill Catlette
    Contented Cow Partners

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  5. Cannot bear it when people are rude to those helping make their day better. I heard of a similar episode in my favourite coffee shop when the protagonist decided to have a hissy fit about the lack of a 'spoon' and berated a staff member almost to the point of tears. part it inspired this blog about jelly babies :-)

  6. <<< would have 86thd him for that

  7. You should drop the smackdown, WWE style, the next time you see such an episode. The people were obviously shaken, as you stated, so why not have some fun and bring brother jerk face to the floor with an off the table back smasher! Turn a negative into a positive and entertain the fellow coffee enthusiasts at the same time. Cheers!

  8. As most of us grown-ups get older, we have the tendency to be very sensitive on issues. It's either up to us to contain or release the emotions associated with it (as that determines the mental strength/weakness). However, that man placing the blame on someone (not related to his problem) by being rude is totally uncalled for, pointless and unnecessary. Kat, thanks for your insight, observations, opinions and advice. I'm hoping it'll help someone out there cope with such a similar situation. It's very important to keep control within whether it's at a public venue, at home, at work, etc.

  9. And I'll bet your Mr meanie pants never even considered his position of privilege, being wealthy enough to have the time and money to be able to sit there and buy a coffee! And yet his biggest concern at that moment was his missing cream - his real silly was that he just didn't realise just how blessed he really is. Poor fella.

  10. Hey Kat, I saw you on Undercover Boss, and I'm surprised that you're the youngest boss on the show! :D

  11. I always believe that if you have an issue with someone you take them out of the room to privately talk to them . I once had a wonderful boss except when he might want to chew me out. I would simply stand by his door and nicely ask him to step in his office then close the door and then ask him what he wanted to discuss. Once he came in the door and it was shut he would calm down immediately and we would laugh about and go about our business.